tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48032100995506694412024-03-13T04:40:16.269-07:00Back to Square 1.5After a year off that turned into 18 years and three kids, I am going back to school to finish my degree. That is as much of a plan as I have for now. Just fitting that into my schedule is ambitious enough.Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-40670656382435619552012-09-17T19:50:00.001-07:002012-09-17T19:50:28.898-07:00Why I Resent My Hibiscus<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recently, my hibiscus plant has produced a handful of yellow leaves on a daily basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've checked its moisture levels. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've rotated it in its sunny West-facing window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've removed the unhappy leaves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet still, each day brings a new crop of yellow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I did what any student of higher education would do; I Googled it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hisbiscus will put out yellow leaves for any number of reasons: too much water, not enough water, too much sunlight, not enough sunlight, too cold, too hot, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The folks at Hidden Valley hibiscus boil it down to stress – "Hibiscus leaves turn yellow and drop from the plant due to stress."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let me get this straight!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My houseplant which sits quietly in the corner of the least chaotic room in my house is suffering from stress?!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you kidding me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it would rather have every moment of its day filled with deadlines, being accountable to a trio of teens, dealing with the ups and downs of marriage (figuratively) and weight loss (literally), keeping the house stocked with food and free of bio-hazards, pick-ups and drop-offs, soccer and football games – well you get the idea.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personally, I detest when people talk about how busy they are and so – being the change I want to see in the world – I don't usually go on (too much) about how busy and stressful my life is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not a competition (which I would win, if it were) but I do take exception to my plant and any anxiety it claims to suffer.</span></span></div>
Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-22241212962474273712012-05-29T14:47:00.002-07:002012-05-29T14:49:44.891-07:00The Canadian Art of Procrastination<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of the reasons that I took a term off from school (this time) was to be available to chaperone my son's team on a training trip to Utah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I drove the cargo van there and back and the 18 hrs by myself while driving was pretty blissful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every so often I would have to search around for a new radio station as I drove out of range of another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One such station that I stumbled across had a guest speaker, an expert from the University of Alberta, on the subject of procrastination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was amused that they had to go all the way to Canada to find such an expert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea that it was such a Canadian trait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But isn't that one of the joys of travel – finding out just how 'Canadian' you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't consider my procrastination to be lazy; I'm just patriotic ;)</span></span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-60963024634466056682012-04-14T14:43:00.001-07:002012-04-18T10:01:38.589-07:00Please excuse this interruption<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember when you were a kid and that late Spring weather would hit and you'd be stuck in a classroom until the end of June?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, they spare adults from that torment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turns out adult high school courses only run until the end of April.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if you're not done!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which, as you may have guessed, I am not.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I do have the option of commuting to the city but I already feel it's an injustice that I have to take this math course at all so I'm certainly not spending my time and gas for the privilege.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All in all, my return to school has fizzled a bit this term.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I missed registration for the Spring term but really it was subconsciously intentional because I don't know what courses I need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My old University has been less-than-forthcoming with my course outlines – treating them as if they're the remnants found in Area 51; there's some denial, some passing the buck and some plain old playing –dumb. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So my current University cannot credit me transfer-credits and therefore cannot tell me what requirements I still need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And call me efficient, but I am only planning to take courses that I can apply to my ultimate goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, yes, I do still have an ultimate goal.</span></span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-21387897356749539652012-03-07T09:46:00.002-08:002012-03-07T09:46:38.432-08:00Procrastination is the nemesis of self-paced<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Procrastination is the nemesis of self-paced </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the 'good vs evil' that is my daily life, I battle between procrastination and accomplishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am on the losing side of the bumper sticker, "You can have results or excuses but not both."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that is why six months into my self-paced math class I am less than halfway done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it's time for a wake-up call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last class before Reading Week my teacher asked if I was going to write the Unit Test that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Oh, gosh NO," was my reply because I hadn't studied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact to picture how I had been progressing let me put it into perspective for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Picture a bunch of large rocks like you might find on the coast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now picture someone walking over those rocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How old is the person you're picturing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How fast (confidently) is this person walking over the uneven terrain?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now picture an older person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Notice they have probably slowed down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that's me working my way over the material in my textbook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it's not like I actually have any sort of math handicap so I went for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote the test that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I managed an 89%.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So far, one thing I have learned in my math class is that time is an 'independent variable' (READ: </span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">x</span></i><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> axis) meaning it will continue regardless of my accomplishments and if I want my 'graph' to be on a positive slope, I need to pick up the pace.</span></span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-26658365461125982242012-01-11T11:31:00.001-08:002012-03-09T09:47:18.881-08:00As you will recall...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"As you will recall..." This phrase strikes fear into me far greater than, "pop quiz."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because at least with a pop quiz, I'm probably prepared since I probably did the reading or screening etc being that I am such a keener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when my Math 11 textbook says, "as you will recall" it's pretty much guaranteed that I won't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance this week's first "as you will recall" was about a math term with which I was not familiar. A quick search of the index revealed to me the reason – it was explained in a chapter that I didn't have to do (and therefore didn't.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Frankly, I found that to be a bit unfair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even better is the next "as you will recall." For this one required that the student recall a concept from Math 10 but in order for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> to do that, I have to go back 25 years. Twenty five years ago my classmates of today weren't even the pregnancy scares of their parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twenty five years ago I was already regretting my acid-wash purchase, the change for which would have included a neat new coin, the "loonie." </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We're told that we use math all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I won't argue, but he truth is if this skill from Math 10 was truly that fundamental, wouldn't I have used, and therefore remembered it more easily?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It's NOT that I am resistant to learning new concepts (albeit painfully slowly it sometimes seems) it's just that when these new concepts are expected to be old concepts, I do get a bit frustrated. Fortunately, I have a wonderfully patient teacher who has this knack for answering questions in a way that makes you not feel dumb - now that's a skill worth having.</span></span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-69093693881473530712011-12-21T13:39:00.000-08:002011-12-21T13:45:08.393-08:00tempered dissapointmentAs far as 'something's gotta give', it turns out it was the math. I wasn't ready to write the unit test so I didn't. I did get my other assignments done though. I spent many hours at the local library to get it all done. My local library is only open until 4pm or 8pm depending on the day of the week so it's a bit limiting. (I used to <em>say</em> I was going to the library until midnight now I wish I <em>could</em> go to the library until midnight.) <br />
So my third term back is wrapped up and I find myself without deadlines. <br />
Would you believe I had nothing I <u>had</u> to do this morning (not to be confused with nothing I should do) and so I stayed <em>in bed</em> with my iPhone and caught up on facebook and re-read the other blog I did a couple of years ago when I chronicled our 14-week road trip through Mexico (<a href="http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/roadtrip2010/1/tpod.html">http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog/roadtrip2010/1/tpod.html</a> ) while my children delivered me freshly made cookies and milk. However, I also logged into my University account and saw my final grades for the two courses I just finished... both are A- which is a bit disappointing. (Wow, things really have changed ;)<br />
I'm taking next term off so that I can chaperone my son's team on their two training trips in Jan & Feb. But since I didn't finish the math, I will still have that on my plate - but first some turkey and mashed potatos on my plate, please.Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-57905353666172735622011-12-06T15:53:00.000-08:002011-12-06T15:53:40.883-08:00new fangled technologyAs previously mentioned, it was my mother who put me up to this. It was also she who showed me how easy it was to 'create a blog' - from her own blog site. What she didn't mention was that this blog site requires weekly posts (or maybe she's just saying that now because <em>she</em> wants to see weekly posts) lest there be 'blanks' (?). All this to say that I have other, far more pressing deadlines and if the odd 'blank' finds its way into my blog, please do not take that to mean that I am an unreliable blogger. But really, something's gotta give.<br />
<br />
Right now, my fantasies are about next Thursday at Noon because by then I will be/better be done for the term. Between now and then, I have 3000 words due and a Math unit test. All very doable until you take into account that the research for 1500 of the words is supposed to be a 'group' effort. And to put it charitably, my 'group members' are reminicent of Hobbs (of Calvin and Hobbs.)Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-50663090361608190832011-11-30T14:42:00.001-08:002011-11-30T14:57:56.301-08:00Going Back to Move Forward<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We've all had the dream where you suddenly find yourself naked in public.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You question how you could possibly have managed to get, not only out of the house without clothes, but all the way to wherever you are when you make the realization.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This dream is not nearly so reoccuring<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for me as the dream that I have to go back to school - to high school no less!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that dream I am usually overcompensating by telling everybody I have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a year and a half of University under my belt, that I shouldn't be there</i></b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because in my dream I don't get to go back as a moderately thin 18 year old who actually enjoyed my high school years; no, no, I'm a 30-something mother of three trying to fit in with the moderately thin 18 year olds AND stay on top of all that work! (Usually I can't even find the classroom.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've lost track of how many times I've had this dream over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would seem I've come to terms with exposing my expanding 'horizons'<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in public but not with admitting that I dropped out of school.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, if things keep going the way they are for me, you may just find me at the grocery store naked because one of my worst nightmares has come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've gone back to high school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, it's in conjunction with going back to University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turns out that my Ontario Grade 11 Math is not recognized in BC and I need it as a pre-requisite for other courses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let's just say that I was an above average student in high school… except when it came to Grade 11 Math.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggled through that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>%#@* course TWICE (after dropping it the first time) and I finally finished it by the skin of my teeth - or so I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am distinctly not excited about taking it a third time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But chalk this up to another lesson about how if I'd stayed in school the first time I wouldn't have to jump through these hoops now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How can I best set the example for my kids to 'stay in school'?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, I am a living example because one day my daughter (12 at the time) said to me: "You're so smart! If you'd stayed in school you could have done ANYTHING!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So rather than jump on the implication that I was pretty much a failure, I grabbed that 'teaching moment' by the horns and said, "How about you learn from my mistakes and stay in school!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aye, there's the rub. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I don't actually feel like it was a mistake because then I wouldn't be where I am now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, I get immeasurable satisfaction from being a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's the one and only thing I've always known I wanted to be – so you could say I chose Motherhood as my major… talk about perpetual undergrad studies!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But alas, I am going back to move forward – now, when I have less time and more committments than ever (specifically three important ones), <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but it's those "committments" that motivate this search for betterment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to prove that I'm worthy of the admiration my kids seem to have for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I am expecting those dreams to start changing – although now maybe when I do find the classroom, I'll be naked. </span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803210099550669441.post-70778285322423802242011-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:002011-11-29T22:33:27.028-08:00What are you going to do with that?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The reasons behind keeping the 'secret' of my return to school (I didn't tell ANYBODY until I was already attending classes) are shrouded partly in insecurity – about my age, my capacity to take this on at this point in my life, my uncertainty about my own determination - but are mostly due to the fact that I don't have a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And people don't respect the lack of a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not efficient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's no accountability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I first started to disclose that I had returned to post-secondary studies, my news was invariably met with "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What are you going to do with that?</i>"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And people were <u>not</u> satisfied with my answer of "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more than I'm doing without it</i>."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I made up an answer that satisfies social convention (yet still avoids expectations) – I say that I couldn't afford to finish my degree way back when and now I finally can; and it has the bonus of a built-in excuse for dropping out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It provides the accountability people need to accept my decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(The irony is not lost on me that I use a white lie to gain accountability!) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">They say that 40 is the new 30 (and I'm only 39) and that 3 is the new black (referring to number of children.) If that's true then I am the epitome of fashionable... but my classmates may argue otherwise as there's no hiding the fact that I am the oldest in the class. And if by some chance my classmates are blind, my age comes out in my confidence to speak up in class. (How's that for more irony? Confidence and insecurity - but I'm not insecure about what my classmates think about me.) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So here I am trying to set an example for my three kids, one of whom I'm in a race with to get my degree. I'm old, unsure, without a plan but earning As – something I didn't put much focus on when I was younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why exactly am I blogging about it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because my mother told me to (another thing I didn't put much focus on when I was younger.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think she's just looking for a roundabout way to ask me what I'm 'going to do with that.'</span></div>Stephanie Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09882272506506785182noreply@blogger.com0